Spit Spoof: Black Friday Saves the Day

Cayetana Jaramillo, Opinion Editor

Every year in America after we give thanks for all of the blessings in our lives, we demonstrate our appreciation for Mother Earth with Black Friday shopping. A holiday established by consumerism in America, Black Friday celebrates all that is good for the earth: pollution, greater release of emissions with high demand delivery rates and overconsumption of unsustainable materials.

The long lines at your favorite store ensure the best deals on those pairs of jeans you will quickly forget about. Black Friday creates unprecedented amounts of discarded clothing thrown away by consumers which overfill our oceans and landfills. Mother Nature yearns for the comfort of an extra couple tons of microplastics and unsustainable material atop its oceans and open land. 

A majority of companies that host Black Friday sales can afford the day’s losses because their yearly gains and influx in customers compensate for the price reductions. Large chain companies rarely sell products made from sustainable materials, unlike local businesses that cannot afford the financial losses during Black Friday. In addition to aiding the preservation of our planet, Black Friday maintains the monopoly corporate America holds over consumers. 

America’s capitalist whirlwind does not stop there. After the rise in popularity of online shopping, power-hungry corporations birthed Cyber Monday. Similar to Black Friday, Cyber Monday offers record deals from plane tickets to coffee mugs. This high demand of delivery among different courier providers presents a new benefit to mother nature: an influx in truck deliveries causing a greater release of emissions throughout the country than any other given day. An extra release of hot greenhouse gasses prepares mother earth to keep us extra warm in the upcoming months. 

As a society, we look out for our planet and Black Friday always serves as one of those honorary moments where we place our love and care for our planet first. Next time you consider not setting your alarm bright and early for Black Friday, remember all of the benefits you would be stripping away from MotherNature.