Many people condemn all television as mindless garbage that perpetuates stupidity in its audience. I, however, do not subscribe to this belief.
As an avid television viewer (of both the good and, admittedly, terrible), I can vouch that modern television boasts diverse and, believe it or not, quality programming.
“The Colbert Report” offers legitimate, albeit tongue-in-cheek, news; “Mad Men” matches superb writing and acting only with thoroughly-researched costumes and set design; and Sundance Channel’s “Spectacle” provides an intimate setting for Elvis Costello to interview and jam with influential and talented musicians.
However, “Jersey Shore’s” Snooki puts a crimp in my argument.
Snooki, a loud-mouthed New Jersey native of Chilean origin (although I would have guessed Oompa-loompa), is one of reality television’s main beneficiaries. Despite no visible talent, she infiltrated the world of celebrity with a drunken brutality only found in a self-proclaimed “guidette.”
While I have no basis of hatred on a moral level (last I checked, political standpoints besides tanning taxes appear nowhere on her radar), her unabashed idiocy is infuriating. Even among the smartest of my peers, Snooki is described as “funny,” despite the fact that we are all clearly laughing at her, not with her. Either that or I am missing the subtlety of her wit. But I digress.
On a recent episode of her award-worthy program, Snooki decided to write down a list of ingredients before heading over to the market. Stepping out of her normally articulate and thoughtful character, she was stumped by a particularly complex ingredient.
“How do you spell tomato?”
Yes, you heard it here, a twenty-something year old with an ever-increasing fan base and salary cannot spell a word that appears on second-grade vocabulary tests.
For someone who claims to be an Italian-American (even though it’s been revealed otherwise), asking such a question is both moronic and vaguely insulting. And, for the sake of argument, even if Snooki never heard of or ate pizza, canneloni, pasta marinara, et cetera, the word tomato is still one of the most phonetic in all of the English language. The question, therefore, should be:
“How can you misspell tomato?”