16 is truly strange. You are stuck between who you were and the transition to who you are about to become, while constantly trying to prove to yourself that you are growing to be more mature and more composed than ever. It is the year where everything feels urgent, where you convince yourself that the decisions you make somehow define the rest of your life.
When I turned 16, I thought I had to have everything figured out, my friends, my future, a relationship and even my emotions. Now, as my full chapter of 16 is coming to an close, I have realized that 16 is not about having answers. It is about learning more about yourself. It is late-night drives acting like a “thought daughter.” It is when the world feels too heavy, but music makes it lighter. It is the “I’m fine” texts that mean anything but. Heartbreak disguised as a new chapter of growth, and realizing that being understood feels rarer than just being liked.
Looking back, I have realized there is so much 16 quietly teaches you, lessons you only understand once you reach the other side of them. Here are 16 things I wish I knew at 16:
1. Healing Has Ups And Downs.
You will think you are over something until you hear a song, pass by a place or scroll past a memory. Growth does not mean forgetting everything, it just means noticing that the memory no longer paralyzes you. You might still feel the pain, but you have the strength to keep moving forward anyways.
2. The Right People Will Not Make You Question If You Are Too Much.
This means that the right people in your life will fully accept every part of you. They will not make you feel like you have to shrink yourself, apologize for being expressive or worry that your feelings are a burden to them. You should try to surround yourself with people who accept your emotions, your enthusiasm and your quirks.
3. Craving Depth In Life Does Not Make You Weak
Do not apologize for wanting meaning in your life. It does not make you “too much,” it just means you have a hunger for perception and a powerful drive to fully see and understand your life, experiences and the world around you.
4. The World Opens Up When You Leave Your Comfort Zone
Through my own experiences, I have learned that fear fades when curiosity takes over.
5. Creativity Counts As Courage
As someone whose passions consist of music, film and literature, sharing playlists or movie recommendations is like sharing pieces of your soul with someone. That takes courage.
6. Your Best Relationship Will Not Be Rushed
Going into high school, I always felt the need to be in a relationship. Maybe it is because I grew up with the cliche high-school boyfriends in Disney Channel movies, but in reality, you are not behind just because other people around you might have relationships. Do not feel pressured to rush into something because trust me, it never ends well…
7. It is Okay to Outgrow People
Although losing a friend feels like a heartbreak, letting go of a person who might just be stuck in the past is a natural part of self-improvement. It is okay to let go of a relationship when the two of you are no longer moving in the same direction. No bad blood, just growth.
8. Grades Do Not Define Intelligence
I am not sure who came up with the concept of your grades defining if you are smart or not, but I disagree with it. While grades are extremely important, they do not determine your intelligence. Do not mistake a simple academic placeholder for your genuine value.
9. Not Everyone Will Understand You
I find this really difficult to accept sometimes. The more you learn that no one is meant to be universally liked, the easier you will realize that as long as a couple of people accept you, you will find true happiness.
10. You Do Not Have to Lose Yourself to Love Someone
You can love someone and still keep your own identity, friends and interests. A healthy relationship is built by two whole people, not by one person disappearing into the other. Do not change for anyone.
11. Independence Is So Important
Learning to be okay on your own is one of the best things I have learned. It teaches you self-worth and gives you necessary time to yourself. Stop needing people to validate what you already know about yourself.
12. You Can Not Change People
Trust me, I have tried. But no matter how much you care, you can not make them grow. Growth begins only when they decide to change.
13. Being Sensitive Is Not a Weakness
It means you feel things fully, and that is courageous in a world that tells you not to.
14. Protect Your Peace
Not everything deserves your energy. Walking away does not mean you do not care, it means you care about yourself.
15. Trust Your Intuition
That gut feeling you keep second guessing? Newsflash: it is almost always right. Instead of avoiding it, embrace your intuition and listen.
16. You Will Not Lose Yourself Forever
There are going to be days where you will wake up and feel like yourself again, lighter, freer and proud of how far you made it.
Honestly, 16 was chaotic, emotional and raw, but I would not change a single thing. Every version of me, even the weird and confused ones, led me here. And if there is one thing I have learned, it is that growing up is not about becoming someone new, it is about coming home to yourself.
16, you taught me well. Here’s to 17.
