14 Days of Love Day 7: What Happened to Bestie Vibes Only?

Cristele Moztarzadeh and Isabel Lopez

No matter the circumstance, with the end of every friendship, each individual must come to terms with their respective actions in order to properly move on. The best way to heal from a best friend breakup varies, as every relationship differs. Sometimes friends mutually decide they have outgrown each other, and sometimes one friend drops the other out of the blue. Friendship breakups can end messily or casually but, in any of these scenarios, learning to see the good in everything remains necessary to grow into the best version of oneself. 

A lot of the time, people who experience friendship breakups end up thinking the worst of the other person. More often than not, a friendship breakup does not consist of one person completely in the wrong; instead, two people have simply lost their bond. It seems like a common coping mechanism to speak negatively about a former friend or victimize oneself to feel better about the end of an era. However, doing so does not help with healing. In fact, it often leads to unnecessary drama, and overcoming this desire acts as a sign of maturity. One should always think before they speak and starting drama only reflects poorly on both of the people in the friendship. When referring to the other person, one should take into consideration the other person’s feelings and remain compassionate towards them.

Sometimes friendship breakups come as a surprise; other times, signs of trouble present themselves throughout the relationship. If one sees a friendship growing toxic, one should either address the issue and fix it, or part ways amicably rather than watch the friendship deteriorate slowly. In certain cases, one may enter a friendship only to later realize the incompatibility, which is okay, because people cannot predict the future. Remember that each friendship brings its own set of lessons, and refusing to see the good that each person brings can lead to problems in future relationships. 

In some instances, only one person may see an issue with the friendship and choose not to share their emotions. Due to this lack of communication, one friend may find themselves in the dark as to why the other person chose to end the relationship. Depending on the situation, one should either reach out to fix any unresolved issues or take it upon themselves to find personal closure. Finding solace in oneself is not something many people can easily achieve, but it remains imperative that one does so that they do not feel the need to always rely on others and can better realize their own strengths as an individual.

Accepting the past and looking towards the future often can sound difficult. Those who have recently experienced friendship breakups find themselves reminiscing on the good times and wondering where it all went wrong. Rather than dwelling on the past, one should understand and learn from their mistakes and use their newfound knowledge to maintain the friendships that bring them happiness. 

People cope with breakups differently; some let go of the past with ease and choose to focus on the future, while others take more time to process their emotions. However, some important advice everyone should follow include: practicing self-care, accepting one’s emotions, considering both sides of the situation and talking to a trusted loved one. To cope, consider journaling, spending time with family and exercising as other forms of self-care. 

Since friendship breakups can be challenging, many may resort to blaming their counterpart. While this may sound easier, taking the time to understand what one wants from future friendships can provide them with a more meaningful outlook.