Spit Spoof: Iguana Storm in the Forecast

Eitan Greenberg, Copy Editor

With the unbearable polar weather that has been freezing throughout South Florida for the past week, comes iguanas falling from the sky. 

It first started on Saturday, when temperatures hit a chilling 40 degrees. The iguanas took advantage of the opportunity and fell from the sky as they often do when South Florida gets its annual Alaskan weather. The shower of iguanas continued throughout the day, with many South Floridians acting surprised as if they had never seen this occurrence before. 

On Sunday, South Florida was practically indistinguishable from Antarctica when temperatures hit a whopping 35 degrees. Once again, the iguanas wanted a say on what people’s Sundays looked like, falling at rates previously unseen. 

While Floridians enjoyed their Sunday afternoons and watched the AFC and NFC Championship games on their TV’s, many people heard loud thuds on their roofs. After the games ended, thousands of South Floridians left their igloos and found iguanas everywhere. 

As Sunday became Monday, temperatures rose to the 50s and by Tuesday, the storm of falling iguanas had finally stopped. The effects on South Florida were beyond comprehension as fallen iguanas littered the ground. 

Historically, cold temperatures in South Florida have given way to iguanas rapidly descending from the sky. When it flurried in Miami in 1977, the iguana problem was at its worst.  

More to come as temperatures are expected to drop again in the coming weeks.