Many students have been working toward being accepted into their dream schools for years — taking rigorous high school-level courses in middle school, several Advanced Placement courses during high school and building their lists of extracurriculars. With years of hard work put into being a future student at a highly selective university, opening your college decision to see you have been rejected or deferred can be disheartening.
Hyper-competitiveness often takes over high school classes, but we should not view our classmates as competition. Rather, we should view our peers as people to look to for advice and comfort; treat them with kindness and warmth. We all are going through the same process, taking similar classes, and we all find ourselves lost or having questions at some point. Even though it may sound cliche, treat others how you want to be treated.
As students work toward getting into college, questions like “What is your SAT score?” “What is your GPA?” and “How many APs have you taken?” provoke us to compare ourselves to others, but the truth is that we are all different in so many ways. We all take different classes, have different interests, have different extracurriculars, and, ultimately, have different end goals and expectations for ourselves beyond high school.
If you want to avoid the competition, simply stop answering these questions. At the end of the day, it is your choice whether or not you tell them. You are not obligated to answer anyone’s questions.
As more and more college acceptances roll out over the next few months, students will come to dread the inevitable question: “Did you get in?”
When you get your first acceptance, it is a huge relief, and you should take the time to process and congratulate yourself for getting this far. Your hard work is beginning to pay off. You just need to ensure you stay realistic — while this might be your dream school, many factors still determine whether it is the right fit for you.
As you and your friends begin getting into schools, it is important to celebrate the accomplishment; but keep in mind that it is important to not make others feel lesser than you for not getting in. You should reassure friends and classmates — try to make them feel better and remind them that things will work out. Similarly, if your friend got into somewhere that you did not, you should still take the time to congratulate them and be happy for them. It can be tough to move past a discouraging rejection letter but take a deep breath. Everything will be okay.
Take a rejection or deferral as a sign; maybe it is not meant to be, or it might not be the right fit. Everything happens for a reason. Celebrate the small accomplishments and the hard work you have put into your academic career. In the end, everything will work out — just remember to stay kind.
