One couple, two hearts, three words. As Valentine’s Day approaches, Palmetto couples prepare to exchange gifts, cards and the ever powerful “I love you.” But do teenagers actually understand the meaning of love in a romantic relationship?
“I think that teenage years are a time to learn about romantic types of relationships and experiment with them,” Dr. Annette La Greca, professor of psychology and pediatrics at the University of Miami, said. “Many of us [adults] know adults who were high school sweethearts who later married for a pretty long time. However, for the most part, teenage relationships are not developing or do not develop into lifelong romantic relationships.”
In the Oxford American College Dictionary, love is defined as “an intense feeling of deep affection-a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.” This definition conveys the appearance of love as a sensation or an action, which some Palmetto students disagree with.
“I don’t think you can define love; you just feel it,” junior Samantha Heffernan said.
Heffernan, who has been with her boyfriend Alec Vazquez for one year and three months, does believe that love can be the result of knowing that person will always be there for you.
“He [Alec] is there for me,” Heffernan said. “When everything is bad, he can make it better.”
Ana Campos, a Palmetto alumna who now attends Miami Dade-College, believes that she and her boyfriend of three years, Alexandre Dugourd, fell in love after they got to know each other first.
“You have to know something about the person and experience some kind of moment of friendship before getting into a relationship,” Campos said. “We became friends and then became girlfriend and boyfriend. When you start having anniversaries, you realize that person is more than your girlfriend and boyfriend, but they have become your best friend.”
If love is developed over time, what about the concept of love at first sight? Panthers have varying opinions on this form of “loving”.
“I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in infatuations at first sight-there can be a chemistry and connection that makes you attracted to that person, but it is not necessarily love,” Campos said.
Some Panthers, however, believe in love at first sight.
“I do believe somewhat in love at first sight because when you see a person, you feel different than you had before,” senior Melissa Vazquez said. “I think that teenage relationships depend on the maturity of the teenagers and how much they are willing to work on it.”
According to Dr. La Greca, the appropriate age for a teenager to have a healthy, romantic relationship “should be closer to 17 and 18 to develop a very strong, mature relationship.” This research signifies that teenagers who have a relationship due to the effects of peer pressure are more likely to participate in activities their significant other participates in.
“Some suggest it could be those who are romantically involved [as adolescents] are more likely to do drugs, drink and participate in binge drinking… The influence dating has could vary as a reflection of who they [those involved in the relationship] are,” Dr. La Greca said.
However, sophomore Rachel Altfield believes that as a teen, relationships can still be as fulfilling, regardless of their age.
“If there is honesty and compassion towards one another like any other ‘adult’ relationship,” Altfield said, “then yes I do think teenagers are able to have a loving relationship.”