Ever have to hold it in for the entire school day? Palmetto students have been coping with seemingly endless bathroom problems for far too long. The issues that plague our bathrooms need resolution.

Walking into the bathrooms throughout the school, the pungent stench of week old urination hits you in the face. You’re left with two choices: attempt to hold your breath, or turn around and run towards “fresh air” and hold the contents of your bladder for the remainder of the school day. Neither of which are favorable choices.

It is difficult to point the blame at anyone in particular. This is due to the fact that too many are at fault in this situation. Students have clearly forgotten how to flush a toilet in the last decade, seeing that I have not encountered a toilet with clear water in ages. I also can’t comprehend what compels a person to toss an entire roll of toilet paper into an excrement-filled toilet. While students are worsening the already gross state of our bathrooms, it does not seem like the school staff is doing anything to encourage cleanliness either. In the three years I have attended this school, I have not once walked in a bathroom and thought to myself, “Wow, I definitely won’t get cholera in here.” I fear I never will be able to.

Speaking of unclear water, let us not forget the water fountains (900 Hallway) whose water looks like it came straight from the unclean toilets. [Note to self, don’t drink from the water fountain.] The scrap metal bathroom mirrors, with the reflection capability of tin foil, aren’t the best either. The walls are accessorized with disappointing attempts at inspirational quotes and racy comments as well as drawings that look like they were executed by fourth graders. Entertaining, sometimes. Appropriate, never.

While the bathrooms do bother my nostrils and me, they aren’t the only issue. I speak for all of the juniors that park in the junior lot when I say, PLEASE open the gates. In the morning, security guards close and lock the entrance gates before the bell. Yet after school, none of the gates get opened. As much as I love Palmetto, I need leave and get home to use the bathroom. Not only do the closed gates cause bladder issues, but it has also turned the lot into monster truck mania. The country music-blasting trucks and the mud-caked lifted jeeps take liberty in the fact that they can run over curbs and skip the lines of cars waiting to exit. Please have the decency to wait in line like everyone else that is trying to make it home before having an accident, if you know what I mean.

Clean our bathrooms, open our gates, chill with the trucks, and the world – as in Palmetto High – will be a better place. No more breath-holding in the bathrooms or bumper cars in the parking lot. This has been a public service announcement from me to you. For the sake of the school’s cleanliness, my health and mental well-being, let’s fix these problems.

Sincerely, my long list of complaints.

-Jared Heller

Note the time. Seems a bit early, don’t ya think?

Didn’t your mom teach you how to flush.

Here kitty, kitty.

Is that really your name?