14 Days of Love Day 14: Finding the Sweetness in Solitude

Angelina Astic and Cristele Moztarzadeh

Valentine’s Day: a day traditionally celebrated by spending time with one’s significant other. While the cheesy gifts and PDA can seem cute and all, Valentine’s Day and what it stands for tends to make people forget about arguably the most important type of love: self-love. 

While many look to others to cultivate a sense of self-love and confidence, people can really only find it in themselves. Remaining unattached from others for some time allows people to easily achieve this form of love and self-sufficiency. 

To preface, the very principle that two halves make up one whole is simply false. A relationship should comprise two wholes, two joyous and fulfilled individuals who have come together to share their happiness and love for life with one another. 

Society has created a culture that leads teenagers and young adults to feel as though the key to elation and fulfillment lies in a romantic relationship. The “Twilight” movies and the “Fault in our Stars” work as beautiful and romanticized examples of what a teenage relationship entails. Therein lies the issue; they offer an idealized and probably unattainable illustration of how and what a relationship should resemble between two teenagers. 

Alongside this, they completely ignore the idea that one can feel whole by themselves, and instead they teach teenagers to search for satisfaction in another person. True love comes from within, and searching for security in others normally leads to heartache and despair. 

Codependency, simply put, leads to toxicity in a relationship. This very toxicity has manifested itself in many of today’s teenage relationships. To live an independent lifestyle, one has to work on oneself, and one can only do so if they spend time with themselves.

Life provides people with the gift of one being their own best friend! One’s self acts as their only guaranteed best friend for life; this works as a blessing, not a curse. Especially in today’s world with an ongoing pandemic, finding ways to enjoy one’s own company has become key to finding joy. 

During this time, and even once the pandemic comes to a close, one should continue to learn how to make oneself happy and not to look to others to find this happiness.

Being single can lead to phenomenal advancements in one’s career. One can work towards their biggest goals and most seemingly-impossible dreams without any of the constraints that a relationship may bring. 

Focusing on oneself also brings invaluable life lessons and experiences that without, one may never be able to fully enjoy life. Teenage years serve as an integral time for self-development and each day acts as a learning experience. By embracing these experiences and taking these years to grow as an individual, one can become the best version of oneself. 

Some struggle to do simple activities by themselves, such as going out to eat or shopping. People have grown so accustomed to having others by their side 24/7 that they have forgotten how to have confidence in enjoying things on their own, which remains vital for teenagers to learn before crossing that bridge into adulthood. 

Another concept teenagers must grasp as they grow older involves maturing. The amount of effort and time teenagers put into stirring up high school drama to spice up their day-to-day lives can not only become exhausting and unnecessary, but it distracts teenagers from their actual goals. 

Puppy love comes and goes, but a teenager’s future depends heavily on what they do in their youth. Many students find themselves in trouble with their academics and extracurriculars after embarking in a relationship. Relationships act as a huge commitment and teenagers should avoid the dilemma of having to choose between whether to have a fulfilling relationship or a successful high school career. 

Teenagers also have to keep in mind how futile teenage romances can eventually become. While rare cases exist of people finding the love of their life in high school, most of the time true love comes from outside the schoolhouse gates.

One must take into consideration the possibility of finding their once-in-a-lifetime soulmate from the billions of people outside of their hometown. With all the stress high school brings, teenagers may act recklessly in relationships and put their all into a person, which can damage their sense of self-worth. 

Instead of yearning for this fairytale high school sweetheart relationship, consider this. The universe has one’s best interest at heart, so instead of forcing oneself to find “the one” in high school, teenagers should work on becoming the one they want to spend the rest of their life with. 

Embrace this season of life because, before one knows it, it passes one by and one may look back on their days being single and reminisce on how much they grew and came into their own. The sweetness of solitude is a beautiful thing; one just needs to be courageous enough to embrace it.